Hello there dearies,

Yeah I know haven’t been posting like I said I would life has… Well been… Life, as stuipd as that may sound truely life had been random at best. 
My mom had been in the hospital since Monday for a total right knee replacement surgery and of course she had the same thing done last year done to her left knee.

But normally she would have been home by now but unfortunately complications with her lower instine and blood pressure has kept her in the hospital to now. She still isn’t home they gave her something to help with the gas on Friday and everything it only helped her a little bit but alas she is still there chilling like a villain.  

I’m worried, yes, very much so to the point the only time I eat is when I’ve already gotten to work or a little something that we have had here at the apartment which has only been like three times so far that when I’ve been at home.
Unfortunately, I have felt like I’ve been on the go since Monday night and haven’t been able to even slow down to catch my breath. 
I feel like I’m always on edge, so much so I’m more easily frightened by things or people. I don’t even know myself anymore now, which I don’t know even if I have known myself. I knew what I was or who I was a year ago and today I don’t even see myself anymore I don’t even see the witch I once was. I know she is still there reaching out, crying out for me to come back to ……. Reconnect to her  and I’ve forgotten her neglected her so much so I’ve lost my way back to her and to the ones I hold dear and it hurts so much so that i might be losing the few I do truely care about because of it. And honestly I don’t know how to fix it, and I need help.

What should I do? How do I fix this ? How do I change? Or undo all of this blockage?

Cause I honestly don’t know how 
Brightest blessings




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