Hello there dearies,
Hello my dears. *sigh* not much going on right really so this post might be rather short for right now. I partly feel a little dead to everything right now this will be my first Easter without my grandfather its pretty much a first of everything for this year now since his passing at the start of this month.
Right now im just chilling at my mom’s currently, waiting till she gets off from work and everything so i can spend Easter with her today, since i do have a life outside of my family if you can call it a life really.
I know that my postings have been hit and miss alot lately, i would like to thank you all for haning in there for the weeks and or months that i havent been posting because life has gotten in the way of things and of course gotten in the way on my online world and life. life happens when you are busy making other plans. i really do miss doing this about every month and making posts and interacting with people in my online life but real life outside of my online life has gotten me a bit more focused as of late.
I would also like to inform you all before it goes to happen, Even though its a 3 and a half months away till it happens, but i will be moving from the townhome i have no clue if i have mentioned it before or shed some light on it for you all in past post i have made or not well now you all know so if i go silent for a few weeks during the months of June through July you know why. the shity thing about as to why we are moving is that our first roommate jumped ship and left us high and dry with no really reason or expatiation as to why and our current roommate is driving both my boyfriend and i up the wall and a few months prior to this caused a fight and ever since the fight has left a strain on the friendship that between the three of us and has me not only cut some of those friendship ties with our current roommate, but to lose some amount of respect for the person. For the most part this whole thing has caused me to gain some insight about the roommate and other things that i must learn to equip myself with before ever fully becoming something better for the future.
Hopefully my boyfriend and i will be staying in or around the Dayton area but we might be going to the Columbus area for better work and maybe even living options. this has become just weird these past few months and for me weird should be my normal range of things but this is all beyond my range of weird. Like recntly i colored my hair to a blonde color and its not even like a bleach blonde like i would normally do but a very ashy blonde and i kind of feel that this repernsts the ashyness of this whole ordeal for us. i dont even really want to be all colorful when i do color my hair and paint my nails. I feel very plain and washed out and voided of colors currently i havent even listend to any of the podcast that are my ipod since i finshed the anything ghost podcast months before hand. Which sucks on my end, even though im one of those people who are considered gothic and gothy in the sesne i have reframed from my normal gothy ways and my other side where im very colorful even for a goth.
I guess that goes to show you where my state of mind have been as of late, I have become bored with everything and become plain in a way from my normal outlook and showing my difference outwardly. I am not myself, and i hate it. And in a way i miss it, and i feel so cut off from it my colors and my darkness im not balanced within both anymore and its affecting me more then anyone realizes even more then what i realize myself and what i know about my whole personality and it has me a bit down and out of sorts.
at least i have retained my toch of morbid because i have been watching the tv show bones more as of late and thats i guess is what is keeping my a little bit sane through out all of this.
I know things will get better and this storm will pass and i will be more grounded in the world and my world and things will be calm again. At least i have kept that bit of myself through this storm of things. One thing i am very happy about that it is finally warming up after the freak snow storm that came into ohio thank the gods and goddess for that. Spring has come thank the lord and lady
I hope you all have an awesome easter, and life has awesome things in store for you great and awesome things 🙂
Brightest blessings to you all and merry part