hello again dearies,
Chilling at the moment and feeling a bit weird about things and i want to tell a few people off right now too. I think i have stated in a blog before this one but im not sure if i did or not and if i did im sorry that i am repeating myself in this one but yeah Im not in the best of moods right now either though i am a little better then what i was last night and all.
I tend to hold things in and keep things to myself thats just what my family did just bottle things in and never speak about it again. Yeah well i cant do that anymore. Im learning not to do that as much but i still do it. I dislike it when i do but i cant ever bring my self to ever say what i need too to people. When I’m typing/writing things out Im ok i do better then when im speaking and i dont understand that at all about me.
I still have alot of self learning to do. I guess its just a time thing with me I dont know what to do really about it. Im really confused about alot of things in my life and where im going or what im doing with my life. its like i am in a haze right now and i dont know how to get out of it and to meany people in my life bitching about different things that are not directly my problem mainly one of those people i am blood related too and one other im not related to by blood and its very over whelming to me. I dont know if i am empathic or what but it does get to be to much for me at times but I dont really show at all what so ever that because i keep to myself and stay silent about it alot of the time about things.
I’ll use one exmpale about what i am talking about and its about my boyfriend (now he isnt like this all the time about things i say/do when it comes to the paranormal but this one time it really did get to me so please dont judge him on this one moment and it is in the past and i did speak with him about it so he knows).
there was this one night when he and i went out for something i think we went to go get some chesse burgers or something along those lines and me being how i normally am when it comes to the paranormal i will always state when i see something thats just me and thats just in my nature to do.
Now he isnt as sentisve to as i am but that night he was sensing a few things as well. He pretty much said on the way back to the aptmeant “dont say anything when you see/sense something. Every time you do you send up an engery flare telling what ever it is may it be good or bad you can see it” that kind of pissed me off a little bit i was thinking “ok you tell me to talk to you and tell when something is bugging me and be honset with you and then you say this to me when its the paranormal and that its something thats lways been there since i was 12 with being able to see things……that makes no sense at all what so ever to me” and it still doesnt its like um hello a good paranormal investigator would and will always state when they see/sense something.
He fully well knows that i want to become a paranormal investigator its like i cant be silent when it comes to this stuff. He himself isnt fully ready to deal with what i see on the daily bases. It makes me wonder how ready he will be when we go to living together at some point this year. If he cant deal with it when he is at his house that is haunted how well will he fare when its he and i? I have been dealing with this since the age of 12 so im fully prepared as to what may or may not happen i am a witch after all im not blind nor am i a silly little bitch of a person to not be able to fully handle whatever the paranormal world dishes out to me. I know i am much strong in spirit then i am in body i know where my will power lies when it comes to such things.
To be fully honset with you all there are areas where i am stronger in then my boyfriend and there are areas where he is stronger in then what i am i know when to admit to that fact and there are things he may not know that i do and things that he may know that i dont not in the slightest at all what so ever those are two of the things i am willing to admit too. I dont know i guess i have been thinking alot now-a-days more then what i really should not that im not spussed to think about things with my life and ploting things out with my life its just that i can and have been over thinking in a few areas that well are furte matters and will be delat with when the time is right.
i guess i just want to get them dealt with now before anything bad happens/ I just have to take the good with the bad and learn that i can be worrying about the furture all the time and be in the here and now and not in the far away things
Brightest blessings to you all hope you all are havin a lovely monday evening with your loved ones/friends
in perfect love and in prefect trust