hello all you wickedly cool WordPress bloggers,
Feeling just saying to everyone and the world “you know what? Fuck you,fuck everything else and just shut up and leave me the hell alone like you will ever understand me anyways no one ever does anyways just life sucks and then you die” right now I’m thinking along those lines for some off the wall reason and yes i do feel like giving up the chase of my so called dreams and passions and just letting them go to the way side for like ever. I’m getting no where in my life and i want to be very anti social and just wishes that people would just leave me alone in a way i already feel like that i am to some degree a hermit that no one understands let alone loves.
which isn’t the case i am loved I’m just feeling down is all and i feel like i cant pull myself out of it right now. I don’t know if something is really legitimately wrong with me or its just something else thats wrong. I don’t know everything just seems off with me mainly on the inside’. Sometimes i even feel that my own boyfriend doesn’t understand me and why i feel the way i feel about things. He says he understands why I’m so passionate about things but for some odd reason I’m feeling he doesn’t fully.
I’m questioning myself and how others feel about me suddenly i normally am not like that and i feel alienated by the ones i love and that love me. I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way and i know that its not the truth. Far from it. All my life i have been at odds with the world I have been myself i have tried to fit in (that didnt work at all) i even tried to be normal or at least what others consider normal (that failed badly).
So i have been left to being myself and what i feel that i am as a person (for some odd reason I’m left feeling thats not enough for some people ) So i try to blend myself into something different and new. I dont know maybe I’m tiring to harder and just let it come to me that bits and pieces of who i am and just let it flow like its meant to be. Idk it seems like the world wants me to be different from who i am and who i see myself as. I’m still learning as i go too.
maybe im going though a change myself and may not even know it really who knows really. maybe tomorrow will be a better day for me.
in perfect love and in perfect trust